Waiting For You, Wherever You Are
by ThePassionateRose
Summary: Edward has been alone for a very long time, until now. Unable to think he will be loved again or he ever will for that matter. He meets this dark teen named Antoinette who may see him as something else, not a monster or a freak.
1. Chapter 1

**Waiting For You, Wherever You Are**

Edward has been alone for a very long time, until now. Unable to think he will be loved again or he ever will for that matter. He meets this dark teen named Antoinette who may see him as something else, not a monster or a freak. Perhaps someone who can help him and find love again?

"**Who knows what true loneliness is - not the conventional word but the naked terror? To the lonely themselves it wears a mask. The most miserable outcast hugs some memory or some illusion." **

**-Joseph Conrad**

I came into this neighborhood, with no expectations to be welcomed. And I was right.

I HATED to move so often. Now settling in this dreary town, it sucked. There was plain, boring people, plain, boring houses, and plain, boring pretty much everything else.

This is why I wasn't welcomed.

I am not plain and boring. I wear a lot of makeup, which is looked down in this town, wear different assortments of clothes, which is again looked down here, my hair is dark and people don't like me because "I'm mixing up the perfectness of the town."

Yeah, so I didn't have a ton of friends in this town or any other place that I lived in.

I guess I freak a lot of these perfect kids out.

But eventually when everything seems to be going "fine", I seem to get into _some_ sort of trouble.

I never actually had one person to talk to over the years of moving. I never met my future best friend. I don't think I ever would.

I hated being not able to go out with friends and have fun. I admit it. I'm jealous.

But that was the price I paid for looking like I want to, I guess.

Does being yourself really pay that price?

I didn't think so.

I admit I'm not as tough as I look.

Most of my appearance is just a front.

I may look confident and ready for anything, but inside I'm scared as a small dog that's been kicked too many times and looking for a nice owner who will take care of me. I know sounds cheesy and all of it is true.

I just don't understand why people have to be so mean.

So going through the first day wasn't anything new to me.

Nothing unusual happens, unfortunately.

Just the constant whispers of the "perfects" behind me and people who I sit by are cowering as if I was going to lose control and drink their blood or something.

But besides that it could've been worse… I guess.

In this town, I have been second guessing myself a lot more lately.

I walk home from school today because I still don't have a car.

I go up a large hill and see a small wooded area.

I come across an old mansion, eerie and mysterious. It looks like it hasn't been lived in for a very long time.

There were old trees near it. Almost dead looking, creating a vibe of creepiness on my skin.

_Cool. _

It was nothing like the other houses.

It was like me.

The only thing different in this perfect place.

We both were outcasts.

I finally had something, I could pretend someone was listening, who would understand what I'm feeling, what I'm going through.

It looked like home.

I opened the old gate which answered with a loud creek.

Once I passed the gate, I knew my life was just about to change.

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	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"**I never fit in. I am a true alternative. And I love being the outcast. That's my role in life, to be an outcast."**

I walk up towards the mansion. It looked sad and lonely. Its would-be gardens were all dead.

Everything surrounding the mansion looked dead and dark.

Everything was so gloomy and depressed, like me.

Poor thing.

Finally, I reach the door.

The door was huge and old.

I knock. Nothing.

I knock a second time. Still nothing.

I knock a third time, just for precaution.

Nope. Nobody's here.

I try to the doorknob and with a screechy noise it opens.

"Hello?" I quietly asked. I jump at the echo.

I shrug and go inside. Leaving the door open just a crack, because knowing my luck I would get locked in here.

There was giant stairs, noting to explore the top floors later. I see old looking machines and lots of dust.

I look and the old machines, somewhat silly looking but interesting. On a shelf, something shiny caught my attention. I make a grab for it when I hear a thump. I turn around and find nothing behind me. I look above; it must've come from above. I hear myself say

_Well, let's go check it out!_

I climb the stairs quietly. Not to make a sound.

I reach up to the top floor and open the door. And I am greeted by a surge of light. The roof had a huge hole in it. It was beautiful and beckoning to me.

I lie down in the center of the light and look up. Even though the wood on the floor is hard and somewhat uncomfortable I still liked laying there.

I say "It's weird isn't it? Two lost souls…" I stop hesitantly.

When I talked I felt a presence. I had no idea where it came from, but it felt like someone was listening to me. Finally.

"Strange… I feel as if you are listening."

Yeah, it may seem odd for a girl to talk to a house but when you have no friends it's good to pretend at least you think someone is listening.

I talked to it. About my day. My thoughts. My pain. My short happiness. It felt so nice to finally to talk and be myself. Even if it was with a house. Yeah, I think I established this already, I'm somewhat pathetic.

I eventually dozed off.

Maybe I just didn't remember walking to it or I slept walked. I woke up on a small bed that looked like it was shoved in between a fireplace. I noticed it was dark. I stretch and grab my phone out of my boot.

I check my phone. 7:00. Damn. How did time go so fast? I had homework and then face my father.

I jump up grab my bag and run home. Thankfully he wasn't home yet. I heat up some soup from last night, plug my ear buds, and begin to work on my homework.

But I couldn't keep my focus. I was still thinking about the house. It was so cool, so different from the rest of the town. Maybe dad knew about it.

And as if it was on cue, dad walks through the door.

"I'm home." He shouts.

"In the kitchen" I holler.

He comes into the kitchen and puts down his gun.

He's a police officer.

"How's my little girl doing?" he asked cheerfully.

"Fine." I say. Nightwish's Planet Hell comes on my iPod and that's pretty much where I am living right now.

"How was your first day of school?" he asked.

I put on my fake smile and happy air.

"Oh! It was great! I made friends already! I'm going to meet them tomorrow after school to hang out." I say in fake happiness.

Boy, I was a good actress. I should be in theater.

He believed me, again.

"Oh, Tony that's great! I'm glad you made so friends here, because we will be staying here for a long time I believe. "

_Great…_

He spoons out some soup for me and himself and brings it to the counter.

"Hey dad?" I ask.

"Yes, Tony?"

"I was just wondering…"

"Yes…"

"Well, what's the story about the old mansion up on the hill?"

His face hardened. He was keeping something secret.

"Don't go there Tony, the floor and roof is dangerous, the floors rotting away."

"I was only wondering why it was there dad…"I played the hurt, innocent child card.

He truly looked sorry. God, I felt terrible.

"I'm sorry Tony; I just don't want you to get hurt."

I smile. "I know."

"Just promise me that you will never go near that mansion." He told me seriously.

I nod. Kept my fingers crossed behind my back and say to myself.

_I'm going back tomorrow, the day after that and the day after that. You can't stop me!nobody can stop me. The one thing that means so much to me is that house. It's stupid, I know. But you can't stop me. Nobody can. _

I then empty the dishes into the dishwasher.

"How did you get that?" He asked me

"What?" I ask, oblivious to what it "got".

"That huge cut on your hand?"

I look down at my hand.

There was a sideways scar on the palm of my hand.

And I had no freaking idea how I got it.

"Um, in Chemistry I dropped one of the large glass beakers and stupidly picked the large pieces of glass up and one piece slid right out of my hand."

Oh yeah, I was good at improv.

"Well, wrap it up."

"Yes dad."

I walk out.

My dad doesn't know anything about my life. I'm in Forensic Science. I took Chemistry last year. He just doesn't listen sometimes.

At least now I have someone, I mean _something_ to talk to now.

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	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Thank you everyone for reviewing!

"**We just kind of did our own thing and got made fun of by the popular kids. It was kind of like a badge of honor to be an outcast."**

All I can say that today at school was another day of hell.

I hate the stupid bitches in school.

In English we all had to recite a poem we had written. Once I presented I knew this was gonna be bad. I spoke with sadness and passion; for my poem was my life. It was called "The Outcast." I held the audience and many people looked like they knew what I was talking about. My teacher looked pretty surprised, I noticed.

I felt pretty good about myself, I have to say. I don't like pouring my heart out in talking, but in poetry that's a different story.

Then perfects came up to me and told me

"Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent!"

Another said making a sad face

"As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?"

The whole group laughed in unison.

Then I spat back

"I'd like to kick you in the teeth, but why should I improve your looks?"

They stopped laughing. Looks of surprise cross their perfectly made- up faces.

I smile and look at the other who had insulted me.

"Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!"

I push past them.

"BITCH!" one of them mumble.

I turn around and look at her straight in the eye

"Yes, yes you are."

And I head to my next class.

All in all today could've been worse.

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><p>Well, needless to say I went straight to my home.<p>

Yes, I said it.

_Home. _

Now a couple of weeks have gone by and I have explored the mansion top to bottom.

I knew where everything was, it was an interesting old mansion.

I crept upstairs to the top of the mansion and looked out at the view. It was very foggy today but it was nice.

I started to talk about my day at school. I was getting to the part about how I finally met my first "friend" here. Then I heard something.

I turn around I see a flash of silver. Then gone.

I was never alone here…

I back up away from the light of the room gave. Away from the light, into the darkness.

"I'm so sorry. I never meant to case any trouble. " I fumble in my bag and pull out a flashlight.

I turn it on and come face to face with a man.

I could've screamed but I didn't.

I just stood there. Looked into his eyes. I knew the eyes where the windows to someone's soul. This man was feeling pure sadness.

I dropped the flashlight. I felt I needed to speak with him. He seemed so lonely.

"Did you listen to me?" I ask childishly.

Somehow, I knew that he wouldn't hurt me.

He stood there for a few seconds and responded

"Ever since you first came." His voice, so lonely, so sad, and so frightful.

"My name is…" I began.

"Antoinette." He responded carefully.

"Yes." I responded. "And yours, sir may I ask what is your name?"

A small frown came upon his face and his head drooped and answered

"Edward."

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading! Please review!<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**I am very sorry for not updating for a very long time. **

"**No one is alone." –Stephan Sondheim**

"Edward." I repeat stupidly.

"Edward." He repeated as if I didn't hear it the first time.

I smile, but his head still hung low. The poor guy, he looked so sad.

"Well, it's nice to meet you Edward." I held out my hand to shake hands with him. (The friendly thing to do)

But he stepped back.

"Is something wrong?" I ask.

I didn't need him to answer. I saw his hands. They looked like scissors. Each "finger" was a set of scissors. Shimmering and sparkling in the light. Looking shiny and smooth.

He backed away from me, as if asking me silently to go.

"Should I go?" I ask. After all this was Edward's house, I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable. I gather some of my things together.

"No…no don't go…Please." He said miserably.

The way he said "please" and looked up at me. I swear my heart melted. He looked as if any minute I was going to hurt him. He looked so gloomy. _But why?_

"So, have you always lived here?" I asked. I sat down by him above the roof, the light was streaming in and the sun reflected on his scissorhands. I saw his entire face then. His face was scarred, probably from his hands. His black hair was everywhere, some may think it is silly, but to me it suited him perfectly. His dark eyes shown mystery and silence.

"Yes." He replied.

"Do you have a family?" I ask. This guy had no idea how to carry on a conversation. But who could blame him? He doesn't look like he keeps in contact with the outside world. I wish I could join him, and not face reality. It sounded great.

"No."

"Well, what do you know about me?" I ask.

"A lot." He replied.

"Oh."

"You hate living here, but won't admit to yourself you like it as well. You are really a child at heart. You don't want to go out and face the world. You feel stuck, unaware of things that happen before your very eyes. You wish to escape from reality. You want to have a feeling of wonder, to see the beauty of the world, see the beauty never shown to you. You would run away if it wasn't for your father. He couldn't survive without you. You wish to explore the world, but people keep you back from accomplish your dreams. You want to be able to be yourself, but you are afraid of what people will think of you. You are afraid of offending others, but you stand up for what is right. You are constantly fighting yourself, and the result is that you can't win… You also enjoy opera."

He added the last part, to make me smile. I just know it. But it was true.

I have never had someone really describe me so deeply and correct as Edward had just did. It was both comforting and disturbing at the same time. Tears formed as I listened to him, speak of me as if he's been part of my mind.

Somehow, somewhere tears came into my eyes. And I knew, I was tired of fighting. I began to cry. I haven't cried since mom died.

Edward shifted on the wooden floor and put his arm around me carefully not to cut me. I wrap my arms around him and cry.

He then whispered to me

"Don't worry; everything's going to be okay now. Nothing's going to harm you, not while I'm around."

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	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: A Memory from the Past **

**I'm back! And (hopefully) I will be updating a lot more often now! Now that school finished and my adventure summer gym is almost done and soon my soul will be bound to my writing… ONCE MORE! (Love Never Dies reference "Till I Hear You Sing" sorry!)**

**Oh and thank you all for reviewing and staying with me! You all are amazing!**

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><p>Those next few days we just unfolded our memories, shadiest secrets, and deep conversations that drew us out of the darkness and see a little light knowing that we were never be alone again. Our trust in each other kept on building but we proceeded with extreme caution for we didn't know what was in store for each other.<p>

"Who is she?" I asked one day.

It was a photo of a beautiful girl. With long blond hair, cheerful smile, clear blue eyes.

"That's Kim." He gazed at the picture lovingly as I showed it to him.

"She's very beautiful" I say. I hold up the picture again to examine it. She really was beautiful. What was she to Edward? Did he know her? Did she like him? But she was pretty and why was I jealous of a photograph? I tried not to have the bubbles of jealously fill my mind. What was I doing? I am his friend and nothing more. He knew her before me so she was his. I never would do something like that. I was a friend and NOTHING more. I continued on, hating myself as I kept asking Edward questions.

"Yes she was." He answered.

Before I could stop myself is say rather loudly "Was?"

Appalled of my rudeness, I face him and apologize.

"It's…it's okay Antoinette. Her family took me in a long while ago. She didn't care I was..." He sadly showed me his hands he had kept in back of him. "Like this."

"Oh…" I replied. Wow, what I bitch I was.

"You really liked her didn't you?" I ask quietly.

"Yes. With the little light she gave me I was able to go through this dark tunnel of my life and was able to carry on, yet I never saw her after she told me she loved me." He sniffled.

Oh, God. Poor Edward!What a life to live without anyone to love you and care about you. Knowing that you must strive and keep on living when you know your reason for life died. To keep pressing on and being all alone without no one to talk to. It was too terrible to imagine. Poor Edward! Poor, Unhappy Edward!To be alone for years and have nobody to talk to!

"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask curiously.

"Yes, Antoinette but not now. Not tonight."

"Why not Edward?" I felt like I was cheated, I've told him everything. Well, almost everything about me.

"You should get going… your dad" he said seriously. I have been away from the house for a while. I couldn't have my dad being suspicious of me. He already caught me that night when I had a total breakdown with Edward. I've been more careful since then. But I always prevail…somehow.

* * *

><p><em>*flashback* <em>

_Window or door? _

_It was actually a hard decision. _

_To open the door was to risk the alarm going off. And face the consequences straight away. Probably get punished. My dad probably would have his gun with him. _

_Or… the window. Climb the tree next to my room. Risk breaking my neck and my life possibly with my terrible climbing skills. _

_He probably noticed I was gone. And I didn't text him. He would be just super pissed. And trust me, it will suck. I suddenly thought about Edward. I couldn't mess up. Not for him. I couldn't betray him. He had only comforted me as few moments ago. He cared about me, protected me. then my dad came back into my mind. He didn't know anything about me. So how would he know about him? there was no way. _

_I took a breath and stood against one of the trees in the front yard. _

_Well there was one good thing though…he wouldn't KILL me. He always hated when he caught teenagers doing drugs or something and then asked if he wouldn't tell their parents because they would kill them. He hated that expression. _

_If I climbed through the window, I would have to explain myself in the morning. My dad would think I was fooling around with a guy and snuck in. Hell, I don't have friends, how could I have a boyfriend? Seriously, I maybe sometimes unstable but I wouldn't do that in my right mind. He knew that…I though. Then again…he had no idea who I was and anything about me. He though I was like all the teenagers he had to be around. _

_He was always so strict with me. What did I ever do? NOTHING! I've always have been the perfect kid. I swear, I was I did everything he asked without question. But ever since we've moved here, I've finally just given up on him that he would try to get to know me before I left. He always tells me about how kids hate their parents and all the parents want to be a part of their lives and be there for them. When he tells me these stories I want to say something like "I just want you to TRY to be a part of my life!" he treats me as if I was those kids. All I wanted was you in my life!_

_Sometimes I really wish I knew more about mom. What had happened between them? What if she was still with us? Would this situation be different? I wouldn't ever know. _

_Again I come back from my deep inner battle that seemed to just call a truce. I look at myself. I had my backpack, my bag, and keys. Think Toni. Think of an explanation…_

_I turn the lock and open the door; I close my eyes getting ready for it. There was a light on in the kitchen. Damn, I was in for it. I kept my dad up till… (I check my phone) 11:30? Yeah, he would be boiling angry. He's the kind of guy who goes to bed at like 9:00 and gets up at like 4:30. If work doesn't detain him from going home and sleeping, he's home by 8:00. Sometimes he doesn't even come home. And when that happens, it's not a good sight. He sleeps during the day then. I give him breakfast, lunch and dinner next to his bed. He will eat it. I'll clean up. That's my life. _

"_Antoinette?" I hear his low, livid voice. He never calls me Antoinette, only when he's angry. _

"_Yeah?" I mutter quietly as I lock the door again and come silently into the kitchen. _

"_Where were you?" he was saying this calm, as if to control his anger. He was trying, but I saw his face. Was this like a trick or something?_

"_I-" I started_

"_Yes?" He interrupted me. As if trying to make me feel guilty of something I didn't do. _

_I take a steady breath. To keep me calm. _

"_I was at my friend Sheldon's house. I was-" Shit! I said a boy's name!_

"_You were at a BOY'S house?" He interrupted me again. You could hear the anger building in his voice. _

"_It's not like that dad-" I get nervous. Stay calm. _

"_IS IT ANTIONETTE?" He stands up, as if to scare me. And it did. _

"_No Dad. We were working on this project for APUSH-"I began_

"_APUSH?" He spoke as if it was some made up class. I wish it didn't exist. _

"_AP U.S. History, Dad." I sounded a little irritated. I had to relax, keep cool. _

_He didn't say anything. I took it as if he allowed me to continue on. _

"_We have a video project and we were editing it…we lost track of time…honest dad." _

_He stared at me and I started right back at him. _

_After a few minutes. He began laughing. I didn't know how to respond. Did I say something wrong?_

"_Sorry, Toni. I'm tired. I have forgotten how old you've gotten."_

_I stare at blankly, not knowing how to respond. _

"_Just text me when you are going to be late next time. I'm sorry Toni. I didn't mean it. Really, I'm so tired-" he said with a yawn. _

"_You should probably go to bed, Dad." I have forgotten how weird he gets without sleep. _

"_Good Night ,Toni."_

"_Good Night, Dad."_

_He went upstairs leaving me alone still standing on the other side of the table. _

_I breathe a sigh of relief and turn on the alarm. I grab my iPod from my bag and put the ear buds in my ear. I look to the kitchen and straighten up everything. Shut off the lights…this song starts to play_

_The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight_

_Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time_

_I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts_

_I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out_

I get into the bathroom, brush my teeth and wash my face.

_I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing_

_With a broken heart that's still beating_

_In the pain, there is healing_

_In your name I find meaning_

_So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on_

_I'm barely holdin' on to you_

I walk the lonely way to my room

_The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head_

_I tried my best to be guarded; I'm an open book instead_

_I still see your reflection inside of my eyes_

_That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life_

_I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing_

_with a broken heart that's still beating_

_In the pain (in the pain), is there healing_

_In your name (in your name) I find meaning_

_So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')_

I change and give myself a moment to think about what had happened today.

_I'm barely holdin' on to you_

_I'm hangin' on another day_

_Just to see what you throw my way_

_And I'm hanging on to the words you say_

_You said that I will be OK_

_The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone_

_I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home_

_I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing_

_with a broken heart that's still beating_

_In the pain(In the pain) there is healing_

_In your name I find meaning_

_So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'),_

_I'm barely holdin' on to you_

_I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'),_

_I'm barely holdin' on to you _

"I'm barely holding on to you" I whisper as I fall asleep upon my soft mattress.

_*End Flashback*_

* * *

><p>I sigh. He was right…again.<p>

"Fine. Same time tomorrow?" It was more of a statement, but I felt as if I still needed his permission to come to him.

"Of course, I'm not going anywhere." He smiles.

I smile; he said that more in a joking way. But it was true. He really had nowhere to go.

"Well, goodbye Edward." I stick my hand out to shake hands.

And the moment, I felt like killing myself. I was so stupid. His expression was hurt, sadness and almost a little hint of anger.

"Oh, God! Edward I'm so sorry!" I'm surprised he didn't say he never wanted to see me again.

"It's okay Antoinette. Sometimes I forget myself. Then I-" He stopped, but I knew what he meant. He struggled to say something but I dint give him a chance.

I couldn't help it; I ran to him and hugged him.

"Thank you Edward, for everything. I'm so sorry." I whisper. Small tears fall of my face as I put my head against his chest.

It was a few long moments before he responded to me.

"It's okay Antoinette. I'll see you tomorrow." He said.

I look up at him with my tear stained face. I smile.

"Edward, you are the most perfect best friend I could have ever imagined." I say sincerely

I felt something behind me; Edwards's hands were carefully encircling my waist.

"And you are the same for me-" He said it seriously. It felt as if he wanted me to go now.

I smile and hug him again and go.

I go down the stairs and wave as go down.

"See you tomorrow!" I say happily.

I swear I heard him say this, as I closed the door. I know it was my imagination. Again, I was his friend and nothing more.

"And you are the same for me, but so much more. One day I'll make you see."

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